To anyone who thinks they are falling behind in life
Earlier this year, I turned 30 years old. It feels incredibly strange to type it out, saying hey, I’m Jacqui and I’m 30 years old, because I certainly don’t feel that age. Realizing that I am probably about 1/3 of the way through my life already, and still feel and (sometimes) act like I’m 25. I’m not married yet, have zero interest in babies right now, in fact, my next challenge is taking an 800km hike across Spain in October, and that scares the crap out of me because, as you know, us women are only open for baby making business for a limited amount of time. It sounds like an advertisement: 😊
“For a limited time only ... The Baby Machine is 50% off!”
Ok, I’m sorry if it sounds like I’m being a hater. I am not disagreeing with people’s life choices. If you’re a mom, with a cute family at the age of 30, I could not be happier for you. If you’ve decided to focus on a career, and that makes you happy, that is AWESOME!! If you’re single, ready to mingle, and happy about it at the age of 30, you go man! This blog is simply dedicated to those people who “feel they are falling behind in life”, and to remind them that they are exactly who/ where they are meant to be.
We are living in an age where the definition of success is changing. Being successful once meant having a family, being rich, or bagging that position on the corporate ladder. It still does for many, and by no means am I challenging those life definitions. All I’m saying is that our generation (I am still regarding myself as a millennial of some sort) is more likely to judge success on our ability to turn our passion-projects into income, by how many stamps we have collected in our passports, or how many followers we have accrued on Instagram.
It has become an accepted part of our culture today to believe that we are all destined to do something truly extraordinary and great. The different, however, is that we have a growing appreciation that this greatness might come from life’s basic experiences: the pleasures of a simple friendship, creating something, helping a person in need, reading a good book, laughing with someone you care about. It doesn’t sound extraordinary, does it, but if we break this word apart it becomes extra-ordinary, and maybe they are extra-ordinary for a reason: because they are what actually matter.
These ordinary experiences and values are the basis of who we are and what we stand for. We all have values for ourselves. We protect these values. We try to live up to them and we justify them, and we maintain them, but what I want to ask you is this ... Do you still like playing hide and seek as much as you did when you were a kid, or do you prefer hitting the pub? Do you read fiction books where you used to prefer non-fiction? Do you hang out with your friends as much as you did when you were 13? You might have loved chocolate mousse a couple months ago, but now cheesecake makes your mouth water. The truth is... Your values change! You change! You change whether you want to or not. That’s just how life is. Life! Remember life? Yeah, it teaches you things and sometimes makes you go the long way around for your biggest lesson: Who am I ... The question that drives us, gives us our purpose.
I’d like to take second to flip this question on its head. What use is it to seek and “find” yourself, when the moment you feel you know who you are and what makes you tick – BOOM- you’ve changed some more. You will never find a fixed answer to who you are because the answer is never fixed. I say don’t find yourself. I say never know who you are. Because it’s what keeps you striving and discovering. It forces you to remain humble in your judgements and opens you to the idea of accepting the differences in others.
“Knowing yourself” or “finding yourself” can be dangerous. It can cement you into a saddle with unnecessary expectations. It can close you off to inner potential and outer opportunities. Most of our unhappiness stems from the belief that our life should be different than what it is. We believe we should have control, and our self-loathing and self-hated comes from the idea that we should be able to change our circumstances – be hotter, richer or smarter.
The moment you realize and accept there is no fixed answer to who you are, you will learn to love yourself as you are. You will simply be you and realize that you’re no longer chasing something that always seems just slightly out of reach. Instead you will be walking alongside change as a happy life companion.
What I think our generation needs more than anything is this: PERMISSION TO BE WHOEVER THE HELL YOU ARE!!!! 😊
Yes, I am 30, and even though it scares the shit out of me at times, I am letting timing do what it needs to. I am seeing lessons where others see barriers. I am sticking to my calling for adventure and believing that everything will fall into place the way it’s supposed to. I’m the girl with a twinkle in her eyes and wonder in her heart, who is 30.. not 85, and has a LOT to do before this life is over!